If You’ve Just Lost Someone, Take a Deep Breath
Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things you will ever go through. Right now, you may feel numb, overwhelmed, or completely lost. And that’s okay.
Grief doesn’t come with a manual—but when someone passes away, there are important steps you need to take, both legally and emotionally. This guide will walk you through everything you need to know, step by step, so you don’t have to navigate this alone.
Take your time. Breathe. One step at a time.
Step 1: Take Care of Yourself First
Before handling paperwork or making calls, make sure you are okay.
✔ If needed, call a friend or family member to be with you. You don’t have to do this alone.
✔ Take a break if you need to. There’s no rush to handle everything at once.
✔ Allow yourself to feel. Whatever you’re experiencing right now—shock, anger, sadness, even relief—it’s valid.
If you need immediate emotional support, please reach out:
📞 National Grief Support Helpline (U.S.): Call 1-800-622-4357
📞 Crisis Text Line: Text HELLO to 741741 for 24/7 support
Step 2: Report the Death
One of the first legal steps after someone passes is officially reporting the death. This process depends on where and how the person passed away:
✔ If they passed at home (and were NOT in hospice care) – Call 911. A medical professional will declare the death and guide you on what to do next.
✔ If they were in a hospital or hospice – The staff will handle the legal declaration for you.
✔ If it was unexpected or suspicious – The case may require an autopsy or investigation by the coroner.
Once the death is officially declared, you will need a death certificate—this will be necessary for handling finances, closing accounts, and settling affairs.
📍 Who to Contact for a Death Certificate:
- The funeral home (they can usually help obtain one)
- The county health department
- The state vital records office (CDC Guide to Vital Records)
Step 3: Notify Close Family & Friends
This is one of the hardest steps. Telling people about the loss can feel overwhelming.
✔ Make a list of family and close friends who should know first.
✔ Consider asking for help – You don’t have to do this alone.
✔ If it’s too difficult to call, you can write a message or ask someone else to notify others.
Many people choose to make a public announcement later (on social media or in an obituary), but there is no rush to do this.
Step 4: Arrange for Funeral or Memorial Services
You may already know your loved one’s wishes for their final arrangements. If not, here are your options:
✔ Burial or Cremation – Check if they had a pre-planned arrangement or insurance covering expenses.
✔ Memorial Service – Traditional funeral, celebration of life, or private family gathering.
✔ Financial Help – Funerals can be expensive, but assistance is available.
💰 Need Help Paying for Funeral Costs?
- Social Security may provide a one-time death benefit of $255 (SSA.gov)
- Veterans Affairs (VA) offers funeral assistance for eligible veterans (VA Burial Benefits)
- Crowdfunding platforms like GoFundMe can help raise funds if needed
Step 5: Secure Their Home and Belongings
If your loved one lived alone, make sure their home and valuables are safe.
✔ Lock all doors and windows
✔ Care for any pets left behind (local shelters or family members may help)
✔ Check their mail – Some bills (like rent or utilities) may need to be handled right away
✔ If they had a car, park it safely and secure important belongings inside
Step 6: Handle Legal & Financial Matters
Once the initial shock has passed, you will need to take care of the legal and financial side of things.
📑 Who to Notify:
- Social Security Administration (if they received benefits) – Call 1-800-772-1213
- Employer (to handle final paycheck, benefits, or pension)
- Banks and Credit Card Companies (to freeze or close accounts)
- Insurance Providers (life insurance, auto, home)
- Mortgage/Landlord & Utility Companies (to transfer or cancel services)
💰 How to Access Their Money & Accounts:
If you are the executor of their estate, you may need to:
✔ Obtain a copy of the will (if they had one)
✔ Work with a probate court (if needed) to distribute assets
✔ Close or transfer retirement and investment accounts
📍 Need Legal Help?
- American Bar Association’s Free Legal Help: FindLaw.com
- Estate Planning Attorneys Near You: NAELA.org
Step 7: Close Online Accounts & Subscriptions
Many people forget that online accounts continue to exist even after someone passes.
How to Close Their Digital Presence:
✔ Facebook & Instagram – Request to memorialize or delete the account (Meta Help Center)
✔ Google (Gmail, YouTube, etc.) – Request account closure (Google Account Help)
✔ Netflix, Spotify, Amazon, etc. – Cancel auto-pay subscriptions
✔ Apple ID & iCloud – Requires proof of death and legal documentation (Apple Support)
If you’re unsure where to start, try Googling their name + “obituary”—many services allow family members to close accounts with proof of death.
Step 8: Take Care of Yourself
Grief doesn’t follow a timeline. You might feel okay one day and completely overwhelmed the next. That’s normal.
✔ Talk to someone – A therapist, support group, or a trusted friend can help
✔ Allow yourself time – There is no “right” way to grieve
✔ Take breaks – Even small moments of self-care can help
📞 Need Support? Here Are Resources Just for You:
- Grief Support Hotline: Call 1-800-622-4357
- Find a Local Grief Group: GriefShare.org
- Crisis Support (24/7): Call 988
Final Thoughts: One Step at a Time
Losing someone is one of the hardest things you’ll ever face. But you don’t have to do this alone.
Take things one step at a time. Reach out for support. And remember—your loved one would want you to keep living, keep loving, and keep moving forward.
If you ever want to leave your own final message for those you love, EternalGoodbye.com allows you to do just that—safely and securely.
For now, just breathe. You’re not alone. 💙
